It is now Wednesday afternoon and I’ve not journaled at all this week, so I figured It was time to catch-up a bit. The weekend was good but not great, and my Princess and I got a lot done including Christmas shopping. I’m proud of achieving our one-month anniversary of our FLR, but at the same time, I felt a little down all weekend. I’m not sure if that was a result of just being tired, the pressures of the restaurant and lower than needed sales, or it was something else, but for the first time since we began this, I felt less motivated and less happy. I did get a very nice maintenance/punishment spanking with a figging on Monday and that certainly helped me level out a bit.
Tuesday was better, but work is still stressful due to the finances. I used my points in the morning to buy two edging sessions before using my dildo in the shower. That was a great way to start the day and still a little down, I did it again this morning, but added in a figging self-spanking which was intense and left me completely relaxed. Due to my mistreatment of Her, my Princess owes me a punishment spanking, and she suggested this morning that I use the self-spanking for that purpose, but I pushed back. I feel like I need that cathartic spanking that I had when she spanked me a few weeks ago that nearly brought me to tears. I still feel like she lets me get away with stuff and I need the opportunity to apologize, earn her forgiveness, and get closure for my behavior and try to do better.
This morning started off great. As I said, I edged twice and the second time I was close to cumming. A little semen and precum came out when I stopped, and I whipped it away with my finger and put it on my tongue and swallowed it. I made a new ginger root plug that I hoped would stay in better and went to the bedroom to self-spank aggressively. The plug was great and did its job without coming out. Finally, I got in the shower with my favorite dildo, and stuck it to the shower wall. I soaped my fingers and used them to loosen myself up to take the dildo. I bent over and backed onto the dildo with my hands on the floor and my head on the glass door. The door was too close to be able to go back and forth on the dildo, so I opened the door and started riding the dildo. Our shower door closes by itself so as I went back and forth, it would whack me in the head. If anyone had witnessed this, they would have laughed uncontrollably. Thinking back to it now, it makes me giggle. Bent over at the waist, dildo stuck to the wall and in my ass, and the shower door smacking me in the head every time I went forward! With that plan not working well, I pulled the suction cup off the wall and used my hand to push the toy in and out of me. I was pushing the toy in and out at an angle that was rubbing my prostate extremely hard. As happened when edging on the couch, I nearly came from this and had to stop. I had a lot of fun this morning and it helped to improve my mood and relieve stress. Unfortunately, the reality of the restaurant hit hard when I got there, and I was very frustrated, and I mistreated my Princess again. I am certain that the frustration comes from working so hard and not seeing the benefit of our hard work.
Finally, Saturday night and we are home at 5:00 pm, first time since we opened the restaurant that we are home on Saturday night, and it feels great. I have not journaled much this week, not sure why, but I had a bit of a tough mood week that has gotten better today. Regardless, other than a couple of infractions for losing my cool and mistreating my Princess, both resulting in very mild spanking, I had a good week. As I mentioned earlier this week, I’ve been trading my points for edging in the morning and now I’ve done that three days without having an orgasm. My routine is simple, I start with finding a video on fetlife that I like, usually about anal, and I stroke myself watching until I get that feeling that with one or two more strokes, I’ll cum, and then I stop. I’ve gotten so close to the edge of an orgasm, that cum leaks out of my cock and I’ve grown to love sucking it up. Tastes so good to me.
My Princess shared with me that one morning as I toiled away preparing the house for Her, She laid in bed and masturbated. This turned me on and eventually led to one of the edging sessions that I mentioned earlier. I suggested that She should call me to lick her pussy, which led to buying two servants bells. The first, for Her to ring when She wants me to come to bed and service Her, and the second for Her to call me to get something for Her in the living room when I am elsewhere. I cant wait until She rings the bedroom bell for the first time.
I did feel this week that I was less motivated, and I had to create my own motivation, hence the dildo in the shower and the edging. My princess masturbating turned me on, and that my Princess was planning to fuck Herself with a big dildo while I watched, to reward me, turned me on to no end. I have not stopped thinking about that. In our incredible life together so far, I’ve never seen Her put anything inside Herself for pleasure and although I’m sure She has, over the years, She’s not shared with me or asked me to watch. I hope I can witness that soon, but I imagine I would start humping the air like a dog and spewing cum like a teenager without touching Her. I am so horny for Her.
Every day after I have finished my morning chores and my evening chores, which I complete nude, I put on a bralette and wear it under my shirt as I sit watching news and drinking tea with Her. I love the feeling of wearing the bralette.
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